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the rantings of a mad man?

Monday, June 15, 2009

Subject: My Struggle...

Subject: My Struggle...


Just to clarify my position (usually brown nosing those in a higher position), I will share with you how I work (or not). I have generalised, there are some exceptions to every rule (apart from Einstein's theory of relativity, but that’s a different story), but in the main, this is me.....

I really like football, no really I do! The fact that others (management) also go to the same place, at the same time, just happens to be a coincidence...

If you ring me at anytime and you are a contractor, I’ll probably ignore you and ring you back when I can be bothered, if ever. Mind you, this rule can be broken if I’m in the shit and need an answer to a question which I don’t know (which is often) and I need to look only slightly less stupid when I use your answer as my own. Even if I don’t understand what the question means, let alone the answer.

I used to do something technical a long time ago and know a lot of ‘techie’ buzzwords. You’ll probably hear me using them to great effect, just at the right time and in the right place. Don’t try and do this yourself, as it requires a high level of technical knowledge and intelligence, of which I’ve got bucket loads.

If I’m out and about, schmoozing with ‘A’ Class Celebs, then someone else in the office will cover my arse. Don’t expect them to know more then me, or in fact, know anything. Cream rises to the top you know!

When something goes well, I will of course, claim all the credit. Don’t expect to get mentioned!

If the shit hits the fan, then it’s your fault! Expect to your name to be first in the list of the damned!

On the whole, I expect you to make me look good. These practices are set in stone, unless some future shit dodging means I have to manipulate the truth and start blame storming, as required.


I’m great!

You’re lower then whale shit. (The lot of you)

Don’t bother phoning me or using email if you require a response anytime soon (especially contractor scumbags.)

If I’m on Holiday, it means I’ve deserved it and you don’t. Don’t expect a postcard...

Do as I say, not as I do. Unless you speak management lingo, in which case we should all work together in a synergistic foment, grabbing the low hanging fruit and using the ethereal process to encourage those that are willing and able to salute the flag to the organ grinder.

The Boss

(not Bruce Springsteen though)